In the company of some hot, young, well-educated, and up-and-coming ladies, I cooked dinner and sat down to have a talk about boyfriends. Over brussel sprouts, couscous, quinoa, and Bajan rum punch, we came to an agreement over the “very essential and vital list of things you need to know before you can consider seriously dating a man.”
1. Does he have a girlfriend?
It sounds crazy, but you need to ask him. If you don’t, some guys actually don’t think that they need to tell you or they assume that you know. Do not be fooled by his being alone and not talking about her, because he may only not be talking about her to you. Remember, you are not a silly hoe.
2. Does he have a job?
My friend always has this problem. She meets a cute guy who wants to spend a lot of time with her but just happens to be unemployed. Jobless men seem available and committed because you are now their job. This can only end badly. He may get stingy on dates. He may get depressed and push you away. And, he may not be the same person when he gets a job. The new job will change his schedule and that will clearly affect you. Stand by your man, but don’t let his job be an excuse for a crappy relationship.
3. Does he have a home and is he homeless?
You meet a great guy and then find out that he doesn’t really live in the city. What on earth are you going to do? Nothing. Unless it is love, you are no one’s city bimbo. People couch-surf and crash, but make sure that is not your brand new boyfriend.
4. Is he a sociopath?
This is the toughest one of all. Sure, every sociopath won’t inspire the next Silence of the Lambs, but watch what the guy says and does.
1. Does he string you along and make you chase him?
2. Is he ok with completely cutting ties with people?
3. Does he ask for things publically to influence your decision?
4. Is he morally, cosmically, or philosophically conflicted with your relationship?
5. Do you need to justify him to your friends?
5. Is he gay?
He is cute. He notices the little things that you do. He knows just how to show off a little leg or his butt. He comments on the thread count of your bedding. He may or may not be better groomed than you. Yes, you may be dating a metrosexual and everything is fine. But is it? Really? Really though?