While people watching at Rare Bar on Lexington and 27th I noticed lots of couples either on first dates or repeat offenders. It's funny how you can spot a first date a mile away. Either by how one looks completely uncomfortable or on their best behavior...
The First Date
A first date is like an audition. That, or it is a waiting game where each person is simply dying to get to the point where they can stop being polite and start getting real. Sure, you can ask people about their favorite things, but unless you have a common interest, the conversation will be an interview and not a shared exchange. Therefore, it is important that we find ways to focus ourselves and keep away from the nasty habits that make a first date so damn boring.
1. Maintain eye contact:
Don’t you like being looked at? Then DUH, don’t get caught with a wondering eye. You will look like you are on the run and you will make the other person nervous. Eye contact is a symbol of attention and, today, we are raised with so many insecurities, that people genuinely need you to confirm that they have you captivated.
Gropers will learn through rejection or retaliatory flanking that they simply touch too much. For the rest of us, it is important to remember that a good hug, a guiding hand on a shoulder or an arm, or a hands on demonstration is just plain old sexy. While you may not be planning to reproduce, you need to give your date a chance to get hooked on your scent and to start picturing what it is like to get close to you.
If you are doing all the talking, then shut up. No one wants to listen to a constant monologue. Let the other person add to the conversation and ask questions that help you understand more about the person.
4. Don’t mention stupid things:
Don’t talk about your ex. Lately, there seems to be an epidemic where people are forgetting that:
1. You have an ex and absolutely no one cares. People don’t go on dates for a pity party. They want to date you – not your ex.
2. It is just insulting.
Unless this is the first date of an arranged marriage, you should probably not try and make the person feel you have decided to have children with them before they have decided if they want to kiss you at the end of the night.
5. Have Fun:
Always, laugh, joke, and try something new. If it doesn’t work out, remember, you will likely never see your date again. People like you when they feel that you are just being your fun and confident self. Be you and have a good time doing it.