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Single Awareness Day

 

‘Tis February, readers, and luckily you have done it.  You have successfully freed yourself from the poor-dating choices of last year. However, that does mean that you are single and, normally, that would be fine.  But it is Valentine’s Day or, as I like to call it, the day where TV, Movies in theaters, restaurant menus, decorations in stores, shopping aisles, and practically the whole world seems to be hell bent on making you aware that you are single.  Please don’t panic.  It is just one day and, usually, there is no escaping it. But this year, I have got it down to a science.

 

1.      Call in sick.  Or if you are already at work.  GO HOME!  You just threw up and you were feeling queasy when you got to work.  Or, better yet, have a neck spasm and have someone put you into a cab.  Do you want to see your coworkers – clad in red - getting showered with flowers and gifts? Or, worse yet, handing out candy. Sleep-in and do all the things that you have been wanting to do at home, but haven’t had the time or energy. This includes blasting music and dancing in your underwear, if that is your thing.

 

2.      Make sure you have a sponsor. Sometimes people crack and do dumb things when they are lonely. Make sure you and your best friend go through your phone and delete all the numbers of the people you don’t want back in your life.  Also check with them to make sure you don’t:

a.       Decide to go out and meet some rando at a bar.

b.       Find another way to call your ex.

c.        Find another way to call your last hook-up.

d.      Do anything that you will regret on February 15^th.

 

3.      Order in and don’t hold back. Why should you have to cook for yourself? There are people for that. Sit back relax and “Treat Yo Self”. That and, why on earth would you want to go to a restaurant and see people eating menus made for two.

 

4.      Don’t turn on the TV. God made Netflix and Hulu so that we can finally watch TV in peace.

 

5.      Phone a friend. Why have all this fun alone? The two, three, four, or bunch of you can have an all day slumber party, exchange massages, exchange war stories, and take joy in the fact that you are single and have amazing people in your life.

 

Please also be aware that you are way to awesome to pity yourself because of a day where businesses force people in relationships to spend money.