Porn and relationships, something few people like to talk about...but also something that causes major rifts in relationships. When you're single, you can do whatever you want. If porn falls into that category, so be it. In fact, I challenge you to find a man that DOESN'T watch porn (my ex without a computer or tv is excluded)! And you know what? That's a private thing. Everyone has needs and everyone wants to get their rocks off. When I meet someone, I don't ask them which route they most like to take to Self Pleasure City. This is one of the many benefits of singlehood.
Once you're involved (seriously) with someone else, your habits are more likely to be scrutinized. Especially if you live with your significant other. I was chatting with a friend the other day (she and her boyfriend are co-habitating) and she happened to come across his browsing history on her computer. She wasn't happy about what she found. Porn, and lots of it. Porn featuring women with huge knockers and very full derrieres. She's not particularly blessed in either area. Needless to say, she felt a bit hurt.
It's very hard, as a woman, to see that for many men, porn is simply a fantasy. It's not that your dude necessarily wants that kind of woman more than he wants you. He just wants to, ahem, take care of business while looking at her. It's separate. I went through a similar situation with an ex of mine. I was already insecure about our relationship, so when I saw his history filled with videos featuring very Asian women, I was horrified. I am pretty much the opposite of Asian. The most asian part of me is the term "caucasian." Yep. I blew up. And it didn't really work to my advantage. He was just shocked at his violated privacy.
After that incident, I scoured the internet and advice columns for some helpful words. Anything to comfort my bruised ego. I soon realized that unless a man's porn watching and self pleasure gets in the way of your shared sexual life, you should try to stay out of it. Some things, even in a committed relationship, should still be private. But for god's sake, please, please, please try to erase your browsing history, guys. There are some things we do not need to know.
Saturday, March 31, 2012 6:01 AM
Well BKBEE I'm baffled about some stuff when it comes to porn and people's habits but thanks for the read!
Oh yeah your ex was a friggin jerk!
Take care
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