What’s a girl to do on weekends during the NFL Playoffs?
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It’s that time of year again, ladies. However, I know there is a subset of women who actually enjoy the post season as much as the next guy. For the female football cult who don Tebow #15 jerseys and swill Bud Lights in the darkness of their local Manhattan dive; This article is not for you, so please abort now.
Let me re-engage with the true NY women: Ladies, what are you supposed to do on weekends during the NFL playoffs? I will give you a few pointers.
1. Wild Card weekend is just as important as the Super Bowl
Yes, this is an audacious statement. But, for guys this is true, particularly if our team is on the field for the first weekend of the tournament. This is a one game season and if we lose, we are done. This is not American Idol or some new analogue where you get initial auditions with several cuts and multiple rounds to prove you got the goods. If your team comes out and pulls a Roseanne Barr (See 1990 San Diego Padres National Anthem) on Wild Card weekend they better start emptying their lockers during halftime. Next round they will be watching the games with the rest of the spectators. So, ladies please leave us alone on Wild Card weekend as well.
2. Just because the game is only scheduled for 3 hours, does not mean we only need 3 hours to watch it.
So, girls, you know when you go to a movie and sit in those movie theater seats and stare at the previews and the previews to the previews for an hour before the actual movie begins. Well, this is what we do on weekends during the NFL playoffs. And you know how you like to watch all the credits roll by for an hour after the movie? Well, this is what we like to do with football (pre and post game analysis). So if the game is scheduled from 4:30PM to 7:30PM you should just add 2 hours before and 2 hours after; therefore, we need 2:30PM to 9:30PM. And as you may know, we usually have 2 games on Saturday and 2 games on Sunday in the first few weeks. So.. just say leave us alone all day on Saturday and Sunday until at minimum 9:30PM. Sound like a plan?
3. February 11th 2012
Mark your calendars. We are unavailable on any weekend up to February 11th. The 5th of February is the Super Bowl. Yes, I know the week before the Super Bowl is an off week; but, they still have analysis and interviews. Think of this like your preparation for the LSAT or GMAT or something, it has to be done. So, sorry girls this 5 week stretch should be a point in our relationship where you get into porn or find some lesbian friends who don’t like football or head to the West Village and buy a rabbit. See you on the 11th. Oh, by the way NHL & NBA playoffs will be right around the corner and Spring Training starts soon too..
Sunday, January 08, 2012 11:03 AM
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