My roommate/bff mentioned that our friend was coming over before they headed out to the bars. Apparently she was having a meltdown. I knew immediately what the cause was. A man. I could go on about how terrible it is that men have such power over my lady friends, but I think that's kind of a given. She made her way over, entered the living room and plopped into a chair with an overwhelming sigh. She looked over at me and I knew I was right.
This particular friend has been entangled with a man for the past year. After meeting on a dating site, they started to see each other (physically) for a while. She became infatuated, and he made it clear that he had no interest in meeting her friends or having any type of connection anywhere other than the bedroom. After they broke things off, things began to look better. And then it happened. She contacted him again. She wanted to be friends. He submitted. They engaged in a friendly relationship, but let's be real. It was all a lie. After a while, she admitted she still had feelings for him, and that she thought they should be together. He shot her down. Cue cutting him out of his life again. Rinse, and repeat. More time wasted, more pain.
It's so frustrating and awful to watch a friend go through this pattern. The male party is completely aware of the power he has over her. Every single time, his answer is the same. He doesn't have feelings for her. And she insists they should try things out. And he says no. And she cries. And her heart breaks. I think it's terrible that he KNOWS how she feels and still lets this cycle continue. Nothing we (her friends) seems to put any sense into her brain. They do say that the heart wants what the heart wants. But how long can she endure the pain?
I thought about it for a while and couldn't believe how destructive this situation has been. This lovely lady wants a serious relationship, she wants something special. She wants commitment. He will NEVER give it to her. Instead of spending her time meeting new and ELIGIBLE bachelors, she sits around feeling sorry for herself and dreaming of the day that this asshole will come to his senses and ride up to her apartment on a white horse. It aint happening. When do you draw the line? When do you tell yourself "I'm better than this." How can you tell your friend that they need to move on - and make them listen? And when the hell will people stop fucking with each others emotions? I think I know the answer to the last question. Never.