I woke up in a dark room, next to a tall and British drink of water. So much for my two weeks of celibacy. I threw off the covers and made my way to the toilet. While relieving myself I remembered something. This handsome man I accompanied home was in fact seventeen years my senior. What had seemed so irrelevant while sitting at the bar was suddenly a bit of a problem. Seventeen years is a lot of time. While I was being born, he was probably doing drugs and having sex. While I was being born, he could have had a child of his own. I walked back to the bed, wrapped myself up in the blanket and stared at the sleeping dude. A few greys. More on his chest. He didn't look that much younger than my genetically blessed father. You could say I was starting to creep myself out. I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
Depending on the nature of a relationship, does age really matter? It was something that I obviously grappled with in this scenario. Fortunately, it wouldn't have to bother me further. After he introduced me to his plant (George) I quickly made me escape. No contact information was exchanged, and I had the comfort of knowing that he lived reasonably far from my regular haunts. But it brought back some memories. My last serious relationship was with a man with eight years on me. It tortured him, and it tortured me. I couldn't see why two mature individuals couldn't get past their age difference and have a healthy relationship. It occurred to me one day that he was insecure about the whole thing. I believe he felt that my young age reflected upon him, and that I was somehow an indication of his immaturity. It really, truly hurt. I assured him that his friends enjoyed my company, we had hours of intelligent conversation, and loved each other dearly. But not enough for this difference in numbers to become a non-issue. It was one of the things that tore our relationship apart.
I often wonder if everyone has this secret issue with age. I mean, I can say "Age is just a number" as easily as the next person. But I'm not sure that it's always true. Where I to date a 40 year old, I think it would become rather clear that we were in different places. I'm not ready to settle down. I'm still in a relationship with partying. I'm not sure that someone twice my age would be understanding of that. At the same time, I think I would feel as though I were too responsible and work-driven for someone that was even 3 years younger than me. But you know what they say. Women mature faster.
What's your limit? Do you subscribe to the 1/2 your age + 7 rule? Or do you not care at all? And...why?