What is better than lounging at an ice-cold Dive Bar on a still hot Saturday evening on the Upper West amongst coed softball players and girls pre-drinking, downing a frosty IPA?
The answer: Probably nothing. However, sitting across from me was one of my best friends who happened to be jabbering incessantly about the misfortunes of his dating life.
Ahhh, dating in NYC. As a guy, what more can you ask for: 1. More girls than guys; 2. More available girls than guys, 3. More very available girls than guys 4. More very available girls than guys that happen to be available this very night!
If my friend would stop prattling and just open his eyes, he would be OK, he is in goddamn New York. Not Ohio, not even Ohio, New York. He is in the bright lights, big City. To quote, the man: "8 million stories out there and their naked, Cities is a pity half of y’all won’t make it". Even Jay Z says their Naked. What is wrong with my friend..will he make it?
OK, let's help him out. What resources does he have available? Well, he has two pre-drinkers directly in front of him positioned on bar seats drinking Heinenken lights (need to watch the figure) in the "yes I am horny as hell and I am available tonight backward lean."
If they don't tickle his pickle, he has 2 cute sloshed softball girls playing checkers who have been here since the game finished 3 hours ago. They need someone to escort them home..
Well if that doesn't do it. He has a couple tourists dressed up for prom, envisioning getting with a true NYer.
And, if he wasn't so lazy, he has over 3,000 bars at his disposal outside of this one to visit this very night..
Well, what does he do... the last ditch resource: check his Match.com account to find a desperate girl who is not in the Hamptons, not out with friends, not enjoying the last minutes of the sun in Central Park, not working till the wee hours at an I-Bank, but, chilling at home searching for Mr. Right on-line, using a photo of herself that was doctored up and taken over 2 years ago when she was 10 pounds lighter and a few crows feet less.
Wow...if he would just open his mouth and talk to the cute girl with the Heinekne light.... now, he is going to meet Miss Desperardo at a lounge in Chelsea wearing Cargo shorts and boat shoes without socks..
Only in the Concrete Jungle!
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